Vespers in gloaming light

The 30 things I’ve learned in my 20’s

  1. What you think doesn’t matter as much as what you do. Just like in a play, we can only learn about ourselves and each other by how we act and react to situations.
  2. Who you want to be starts with your choices, those choices become your personal guidelines. These guidelines become your life’s compass.
  3. There isn’t anything in the world made worse by dancing.
  4. If you want to belong, belong to yourself first. Then you will be home always.
  5. Love is bigger than doubt, anger, fear or past mistakes. Love won’t always look the way you thought it would, it doesn’t feel as warm and fuzzy as you hoped.
  6. God is always with you. God sees you. God will not leave you.
  7. If it all feels like too much-stop feeling and go do something else. Action is the cure for half of what is wrong with you.
  8. The best cure for loneliness is to be curious.
  9. True friends show up and stay put, even across state lines and time zones. Again, this won’t look the way you thought it would. But pay attention to the people who respond with kindness, even when they are kindly calling you out on your bullshit.
  10. Maintain distance from limiting views of yourself. Also, the belief that you can “do anything you put your mind to.” is often too overwhelming and not very helpful.
  11. Living a creative life is a state of being and a map. If this is what you want, it’s hard. And yet again, it doesn’t look as clean cut as you had hoped.
  12. If you can calm your breathe, you can calm your nerves.
  13. If your first thought in the day is: “I can’t wait to go back to bed” you are living the wrong kind of life. You should probably stop where you are and do some deep thinking about how to change this. And then, change this, no matter how painful it feels to do so.
  14. A clean space will help your brain productivity. Your mind doesn’t want your mess.
  15. Other places in the world are beautiful and breathtaking but they will never be your childhood home, in your childhood bed, waking up to the smell of gravy on Thanksgiving morning.
  16. Have the 2nd drink, but never the 3rd.
  17. People can smell your desperation, it’s best just to be honest. Even if that’s hard.
  18. Toast is best for broken hearts and the flu.
  19. If they want you, they will tell you and they will show you. (The reverse of this is true as well.)
  20. There is such a thing as too late.
  21. Comparison is the thief of joy.
  22. Cruelty to yourself and others is boring. Find something else more productive to do with your time and imagination.
  23. Call (don’t text) your parents, your grandparents, your siblings, your chosen family. Even just to say “I’m thinking of you.” There never has to be a reason. Just call.
  24. You will deeply hurt and dissapoint people, they will survive it. People will deeply hurt and disappoint you, you will survive it too.
  25. Don’t waste time on people who don’t make you a priority. The best way to practice this is to make yourself a priority first.
  26. Flowers will always brighten a room. And a heart.
  27. Get your workout done in the morning.
  28. Life moves in seasons; prepare for the winters for they are always coming, rejoice in the summers as they are swift the sweeter they are.
  29. Relationships need constant adjustment, if you don’t move forward you will start moving backwards. Love is patient, love is kind; but if you take someone for granted, love will let you go like mist rolling off a harbor.
  30. Be wary of people who don’t like dogs. Or twinkle lights. Or mayo.

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