1) There is no wrong way to do this. (Unless you are miserable, that’s pretty much the wrong direction.)2) Sometimes doing hard things is just hard and it doesn’t get easier. 3) The heart truly keeps going even when you are scared.4) Understanding yourself is a skill that must be practiced. 5) Good, loving, connected sex is… Continue reading 32 things I learned this year
Today you would have been 85. And somehow though the years are moving forward without you, you still are here. Your name is mentioned at least once a day. A story remembered. A song turned up a little louder.I see her in the profile of my mother, I hear her in the voice of my… Continue reading I love you more.
I want to talk about pausing. I want to talk about what it feels like to wake up and fall back asleep because you have the whole day to fill. I want to talk about how the light changes with the hours, with the seasons. I want to talk about hearts, how it seems so… Continue reading Across the water
Hm. Well. Let me tell you:I read a whole book today. I took a bath, I refilled the water when it got cold. I did a face mask at the same time. I reached out to my friends and did my work out.I got at least 50 ounces of water in my body. And 10,000… Continue reading On Self love-today
She took me next door. There was a hose on the roof, and an unlocked door and the leftover wallpaper peeling. The grass was unkempt and the gate didn’t lock properly. Beyond, lay the Allegheny, moving fast towards the right of our eyeline-the docks pressed in towards one another in the same way you line… Continue reading Abandoned
Ron, I read this out loud to my students on Tuesday. You would have hated me doing that. I told them who you were, why you are so important to me, where we met and how. I said you were kind. And funny, and irritating. I said you loved Paris, and a great hot cocoa, and to laugh.I told them… Continue reading How love letters work to those who aren’t here
This year, I lost my ability to read novels the way I use to. I would devour words hungrily without stopping since...well, always. But 2019 wrang me out like a facecloth. It changed the way I move in the world. I moved further away from being able to sit still and give in to a… Continue reading In flux
"This is how hearts work." Kelly said, while I stared at the ceiling trying to hide the impromptu tears on a girls night. Hannah said it too.And Jasmine. And Jenyth. Through text. Through gif. Through voice messages.Patti shrugged slowly, sadly, while she said it.And Mackenzie looked steadily at me, laying the facts before me like… Continue reading Unloveable