Don’t be afraid

Not every song is a sweet one. 
Not all things get a happy ending. 
And life is hard. And love even harder. 
But here we are. Regretfully. 
And though he will never read this, I have to thank him for so many things-most importantly the reminder that when someone loves you, they do everything they can for as long as they can, the best that they can. I know that so vividly now, because that’s what I did. And that doesn’t make me stupid, although that’s currently how I feel. 
Here’s a photo taken almost a year ago today. I had a lot of hope here. And giddiness. And dreams. A year later, just one year, and my things are back in storage. Not just my furniture but my hope too. 
But the heart is an amazing thing, wishing for magic, constantly searching for joy and keeping someone who has hurt you in your prayers. The heart does the incomprehensible thing of continuing to believe in goodness, and having faith that nothing is a waste.
John would tell me often that every human emotion, at it’s base, was because of fear. 
And I would disagree; at the base-the very most central thing, even to the the tiniest speck within, everything is based in and built on love.
And no matter the heartache, I’ll always believe it.