Three days in

The place is a mess, but the paper work is signed. I balance my whole life on a tender and delicate idea. Boxes unpack and things are hung. Floors swept and wiped. I peek around corners and try to learn the lay out. I see myself in new windows and flick the blinds open and […]

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We go

The last day in January and big adventure awaits us tomorrow. We fly, we pack, then drive home. Home. Your home and mine, in someway, I hope. I am itching to get this part over. And so are you. You are frightened and so am I. I am treading as carefully as I can, although […]

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a few questions lately:

What if forever looks like this? What if it gets better from here? But then again, what if it gets worse? What if I go wrong somewhere, and everything falls apart? What if I am brave and it works out? What if something wonderful happens? What if I cut myself some slack? And you, what […]

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So soft, the petals unfolding

I hardly heard it coming, this life. These things I am about to embark on. Some of them wished for so hard, I feel as though they drew blood from me. Some of them a surprise so deep I catch myself confused looking in the mirror. Has my whole life been coming to this? What […]

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For Mary

When I heard you were gone It was my brother, a poet, who told me. I read it, in tiny ant letters on my phone and then instinctually looked out the window at the bare trees. I mark time by the branches in the backyard And the tiny snowdrops that spring up out of nowhere […]

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Soaring

He said I should take a leap of faith. On him, on us, on what could happen. And I stood at the edge, my toes just grazing the air and wanted to step forward trusting that my wings would grow simply by wishing them to be. But I couldn’t leap. And the more I felt […]

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Copy and Paste

Today is Sunday, day of rest. For me: I slept in and lounged around my bed far longer than normal. I am always grateful for mornings like that. They feel difficult to find these days. These days being days full of work and working out and FaceTime calls to a boyfriend who is still states […]

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not a bad way to start

The sun rises. I look for little kindnesses. I search for signs on the wind. I wait and watch the clouds part. It’s chilly but bright. There is hope there. I hang on a little longer. I wait and watch some more. My fingertips slip on my sadness. I let go and fall a bit. […]

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