The world spends its time spinning and I spend my time spinning too. Around in my brain there is a carousel that is constantly moving. The colors too vibrant at times, the speed enough to make you beyond dizzy. When I am lucky and things are going well the carousel becomes a ferris wheel and I have a moment of slowing reaching the top before the inevitable truth that I must come down.
October is one of my favorite months. The chill begins to set in and the leaves change and the fog rolls and it feels perfectly ok to sit still for a minute. Not that I will have that chance. I am off to Cleveland this weekend and then off to John the following weekend. These are good things, these are the things I live my life for, it doesn’t always feel as easy as this month will (I hope). Sometimes the days are such a slog. But October has never let me down, sometimes she has been cruel. Sometimes she has taken. Sometimes she has been cold and lonely. But she has always tried to reach me, teach me something about myself and the way my life’s seasons are moving. This time last year I was in Maine doing a show, the year before I was in New York, the year before I was in Cleveland doing the Crucible. This year is a smaller scale, this year is a shorter rotation but the carousel continues to speed up and slow down. Turning on it’s axis in my brain, comparing where I have been to where I am going. Allowing me to change but keeping me tethered.
I wish you were around.