Vespers in gloaming light

Copy and Paste


Today is Sunday, day of rest.

For me: I slept in and lounged around my bed far longer than normal. I am always grateful for mornings like that. They feel difficult to find these days. These days being days full of work and working out and FaceTime calls to a boyfriend who is still states away. And all other sorts of things: mostly just waiting for someone to give me a chance.

I went to the library last week and got 20 books out, I started reading 2 and they didn’t fit. I see them all staring at me like candy ready to be devoured and miss my window in order to read them and feel bad.

I have TV shows I am in the middle of. Series upon series waiting for me to watch, but I lack the time and so they too sit.

I have documents to write, and networking to do. But I am tired. I lack the go-getting attitude that comes with the rise of inspiration that comes with being excited to move forward.

I have work outs to do and water to drink and teeth to brush and legs to shave and clothes to fold and rooms to clean and stories to write but I am so tired, so tired all of the time. And my head constantly aches with dehydrated and my lips are peeling and chapped.

It’s easy to say “Just pull yourself together!” But I don’t know where to start in order to do that. What do I pull? Where do I pull? What do I let go of to let me hands be free to begin pulling?

It all feels overwhelming. It all feels impossible.

Each day is copy and paste, copy and paste, copy and paste.

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