Uprooted

The week’s end

Waking up these days in the cold of the bedroom, the air conditioning on full blast and the fan whirring above us, I am reminded how lovely it is to be cool on the outside and cozy on the inside. My eyes open and all is still for a moment. Even the birds, who sing right past the window in the tree, are silent. Then-it is a jumble of dishes and phones and electric tooth brushes. The blankets making that parachute sound as I lay them back on the bed. Sheet. Comforter. Quilt. Pillow. Pillow. Pillow. Teddy. There, the bed is made-the room which looked like a camp in disarray is now clean somehow. Amazing what a simple task can do.

I sweep when I get home. Not for long, and not every day. But most days and I find my day loosening from my mind when I have something I can physically focus on. When John and I fight I find myself doing dishes, wiping tables, sweeping the floor. My body thinks better as it moves. Staying still just makes me angry and stuck. I have to dance around, wiggle around, hammer, pull, tie, sweep, wipe, wash, vacuum around my brain. I am not good at sitting still when I am feeling low. If I do, I could stay still forever.

I went to the library and got a stack of books, spooky and scary and full of adventure, secrets and love. I am in the middle of a Ruth Ware novel already, and really enjoying it. My work week is officially over tomorrow and I am looking forward to reading and sleeping in without the alarm. I think even Bella needs a break. We’ve been walking every morning first thing and although she loves it, there is such a thing as rest. I wish I could ask her.

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