A Hope Chest of Light Keeping

Always land

Home is the moon over the left gable of the house watching us below on the grass under the pink crepe Myrtle shedding her petals like confetti. 
Home is the light turning first here as autumn begins to sweep in, slowly at first and then a gallop of leaves on the street, in your hair. 
Home is the sound of the screen door slamming, the footsteps in cadence up or down the staircase, the tv on and the tea kettle boiling. 
Home is Kyle and his friends loud in the basement, raucous and excited. 
Home is falling into Mackenzie after a terrible breakup and having her say she’s proud of me.
Home is mom and dad sparring in the kitchen.
Home is the ghost of Sophie padding through the halls.
The dust and water next to the fold out chair near the radiator.
Home is the twinkle lights on the bushes all year long, calling me home with the fireflies.
Home is the pool at midnight and 90 degrees in deep July. 
Home is the laughter and the yelling that filtered through the ceiling fan with the smell of pasta.
Home is the window boxes that mom dead-heads with her knees hyper extended. And the basement with an icee and dad during a poorly done movie that we talk through. 
Home is the glow of Kyle’s fish tank, the syrup smell of Mackenzies pillow, the days I skipped going out to hang out with friends to watch scary movies and make a strange delicious gentleman’s dinner.
It’s every person I’ve ever kissed, and every dance number I practiced in my room. It’s the old radio that played as I I would put my lip gloss every morning in 7th grade. It’s the quiet of one in the morning. It’s the broken pieces and holes in the wall and tattered wallpaper that housed us for 32 years. 
Not everyone has what I had, I had it. I have it. And I was lucky. I’m lucky to have it at all. 
But if you give me half a chance, I could give it to you too. 
All you have to do is put the kettle on to let me know you want to sit and talk. About it all, about nothing. And somehow in that-home is found as you find yourself in the spaces and the shadows and the bend of the light while you listen. While you dance. Rage, cry, laugh and fall over with joy. 
I got it all for you.

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