Vespers in gloaming light


Sometimes things just go awry. Sometimes too many combustable elements get shaken up in the bottle together and all that happens is the bottle explodes. Volcanic eruption. It overflows. Sometimes I am the bottle of elements. Sometimes I am the one cleaning the mess up. You get to be both. You get to do both.

But sometimes you get tired. Of being shaken up. Of cleaning things up.

Of making a mess or watch a mess un-fold. Of standing still in shock or embarrassment. Of screaming and throwing something in the kitchen. Motion. No motion. It all feels the same.

Newton’s law states “An object in motion will stay in motion unless acted upon by an outside force.” Am I the object in motion? Or am I the outside force. Newton’s law also states “For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Am I in action or reaction mode? These are my questions right now. I hear no answers, just crickets in the setting Sunday sun.

It’s ok to me that things aren’t fair. It’s ok that things are easy. It’s even ok for me to not feel happy all the time. But is it ever going to get better? Or will every day be just another occasion for an accident.

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