Uprooted

A good try.

I was not perfect. In fact, sometimes, I was awful to be around. 
I was not always right, but I tried desperately to always be kind. I succeeded mostly. 
I did not always apologize (first or at all) but I did leave the door to my heart open and the threshold welcoming.
I was learning. I was working through it. I was bratty and overbearing. Sometimes. Negative and angry. In moments. Full of rage. Which was really the raincoat on a deep sadness.
And it was hard. And it was messy. And I was afraid. Maybe in some ways I ruined it. I let it all get to me. I acted out and acted badly. I laid down when I should have stood up, I stood up for the wrong things. I did not act in the shadow of God. But in the shadow of fear and longing. And desperation. 
But. 
But I tried all different ways. 
And I did my best. Yes. I can say that, yes I did my best.
And I couldn’t have done any better with what I had. 
The end.
Amen.

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