If I could give you anything, anything in the world
Of all the things I could give you
(and of course there are many that I would like to give),
I would give you the ability to sleep deeply and without worry.
Oh I know what you will say- that you do this already.
And perhaps you do, its true, I have seen you nap anytime (anywhere).
But If i could give you anything, I would give you the ability to sleep like a child.
To lay, supine and breathing, allowing God and the majesty of your delicate body full of powerful systems to keep you in a place of comfort. Laying right below the surface of yourself.
Do you remember the days before the whole world got heavy?
And sleep was a balm and also a curse.
Bedtime was a punishment but dreaming such a luxury and the glory of waking up on a Saturday morning with nothing to do and no worries to be had, kept you in bed far longer than it does these days.
I don’t know if you have every been this way-but often when I wake up my first thought is going back to bed immediately.
And I feel sad.
There were days, (long, long ago it feels like at this point) that waking up was exciting.
That pancakes were waiting. Perhaps friends. Perhaps the leaves, a walk, the magic of what was unknown. The dog to play with, my favorite cartoon.
All this is now replaced by the hum of constant sameness. The inability for the week to ever really be over. The realization that everyday that passes without real rest, is a day I lose.
I lose often, and I am tired.