a few questions lately:

What if forever looks like this? What if it gets better from here? But then again, what if it gets worse? What if I go wrong somewhere, and everything falls apart? What if I am brave and it works out? What if something wonderful happens? What if I cut myself some slack? And you, what […]

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So soft, the petals unfolding

I hardly heard it coming, this life. These things I am about to embark on. Some of them wished for so hard, I feel as though they drew blood from me. Some of them a surprise so deep I catch myself confused looking in the mirror. Has my whole life been coming to this? What […]

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What I hear, what I see:

The room, blue leaning towards green.The light, edging out of gray towards white. The curtains, patterned with flowers and the shades open to the thin tree trunks outside.The blue blanket covering your legs. The green one covering your foot. Your robe, edged in white around your neck. The contrast of your dark beard.The glow of […]

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Post Mortem

I do not know what it is like to be dead. I can only imagine it to be like sleep–but longer. And perhaps better. Maybe even more peaceful. But it seems impossible to imagine that. Sleep and death. Brothers that share the same bedroom. I have seen movies where people die, I have read many books and […]

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For Mary

When I heard you were gone It was my brother, a poet, who told me. I read it, in tiny ant letters on my phone and then instinctually looked out the window at the bare trees. I mark time by the branches in the backyard And the tiny snowdrops that spring up out of nowhere […]

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Soaring

He said I should take a leap of faith. On him, on us, on what could happen. And I stood at the edge, my toes just grazing the air and wanted to step forward trusting that my wings would grow simply by wishing them to be. But I couldn’t leap. And the more I felt […]

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not a bad way to start

The sun rises. I look for little kindnesses. I search for signs on the wind. I wait and watch the clouds part. It’s chilly but bright. There is hope there. I hang on a little longer. I wait and watch some more. My fingertips slip on my sadness. I let go and fall a bit. […]

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Ironically

Heaven is a dark and quiet kitchen at midnight and a loaf of brand new raisin bread staring at you. It is a dark and quiet kitchen and the softness of bread and the nearness of the butter. If I open the fridge door and bathe myself in its warm light, I will certainly smother […]

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