Light leaning

Daylight savings is upon us and although the days are now going to be blessedly brighter, the night’s lose some dark and it takes my body some time to rectify the loss of even an hour of sleep.

I awoke today groggy, swollen and heartsore. A bad fight with John has left us shuffling around each other like two prize fighters unsure of who is going to bounce off the ropes first and send a sucker punch to the other one’s head. I don’t think either of us want to argue today, so there is an eerie silence as we figure out how to tend to the wounds and move on.

This is how we did it: John invited me to Home Depot and I accepted. Home Depot, the place where you go to fix things. I wonder how many other couples wandering around there were also trying to figure out what to do next. I’m not sure the last time you have been there, but it is worth the trip to meander up and down the aisles in awe. I spent my child hood there, it feels like, as Mom and Dad got the supplies they needed for the next home project, the pool, the garden etc. I always remember the light section in particular, glowing like some ancient warm tunnel. I wonder: when I plan my wedding, can I use “The light fixture section of Home Depot” as a theme? Worth a shot, right?

So we went. And then we went to Lowes. And that is another treat simply to sit in the garden patio furniture and day dream about having a patio and an unground pool and changing your pillows to suit your whim. The flowers are just beginning to be stocked, all green and lush and I couldn’t help but realize how dumb it is to have a blow out argument on a Saturday night. How we could have been planning our garden. Or online shopping for our pretend patio furniture. Or, as I am obsessed with doing these days, searching for the perfect curtains. John looked at work gloves, I touched every rug I could find (indoor and outdoor) and breathed in the smell of wood and the promise of what a new coat of paint could do.

I’m not saying everything was perfect after this outing. But we did get pizza for lunch, and eventually though out the day, cooled off enough to truly talk. We fell asleep Sunday night wrapped up in one another-my fingers intertwined in his and his beard pressed against my neck, both of us rubbing the sheet with our foot like two crickets in the yard.